“She’s a bit late in the game, it’s been around for ages!” I hear you protesting. Yes. Yes it has, but I hadn’t been until this morning so for any other latecomers…

Make sure you know which Caravan you’re meant to be going to. Of my brunch party of five, three of us went to Exmouth Market whilst the other two waited, hungrily, in Granary Square. I’m not a fan of Granary Square; the last time I went (to The Grain Store) I had to park far away so took a “shortcut” through a housing estate then had to climb over a railing to get back onto the main road. Had I known I was going back I would not have driven, but even then I think it’s far from the tube, slightly eerie and oversized, and laid out strangely. They were already in the queue though so Granary Square won.

We waited approximately 45 minutes for a table; I had high hopes, thinking that a busy restaurant equals fantastic food.

The breakfast appropriate foods are split into several sections; baked goods, fruit and cereal, ‘on toast’ (standard breakfast foods served on toast), and brunch (a variety of interesting sounding dishes). Baked goods were an obvious no (lots of calories but gone in a very short space of time), as was fruit and cereal (too healthy/boring). On toast vs brunch was a tricky decision as you can’t go wrong with eggs on toast but since you can have that anywhere I decided to be adventurous. I settled on river farm smoked salmon with goat’s curd, pea vierge and fennel toast. I was as impressed with my dish as I was the parking situation there.

I was given three narrow pieces of smoked salmon and a portion of toast that would have been suitable for Thumbelina on a low carb diet. It tasted perfectly alright but wasn’t exciting or satisfying in the slightest. I also had a berry and yoghurt smoothie which was far too yoghurty. There wasn’t even anything in the baked goods display that was enticing enough to indulge in afterwards.

At £16 per head (including a coffee and a smoothie), I personally won’t be rushing back. I do however feel morally obliged to conclude with the following saving graces:

a) One of my party ordered courgette and corn fritters with chilli jam; they looked damn good and apparently tasted it too.

b) Several friends have been for dinner and spoken highly about it.